“I’m not perfect, but…” Someone said this to me recently about someone else, with whom this someone shared an imperfect marriage. I didn’t think much about it at the time, but the phrase lodged somewhere in the back of my mind and I woke up on Sunday morning an hour before the sounding of my alarm clock with the phrase having worked its way to the surface of my thinking, making clear its intentions. “I’m not perfect”. How often I’ve heard this phrase, and how often I’ve said it, and how true it is. But what is the purpose behind the statement? “I’m not perfect…but I’m sure striving to reach perfection.”? No, I’ve never heard anyone use it in a context of ambition. It almost always means that the person making the statement has little or no intention of doing much anything about his imperfection. Saying “I’m not perfect” is the same as declaring, “You should accept my shortcomings and inadequacies no matter how they hurt you, or how bad they are for me, or what damage they do to others”.
The idea behind the statement is that I shouldn’t even have to expect perfection from myself – something laughably obvious because, hey, I’m not perfect – I’m human. And obviously you shouldn’t expect it of me either. The phrase is an escape clause for whatever we’re talking about. It’s a permission slip to screw things up. But worst of all, it’s a stating of direction. Saint Gregory of Nyssa (and most famously, C.S. Lewis after him) taught that God is the only living being who is static and unchanging, perfect in being, thought and action. God is the only one who is. God is the only be-ing, everyone else is a be-coming. Or else an un-be-coming. We are, all of us, creatures of movement, and we are moving in one of two directions. Either we are moving toward the One who Is and becoming more like him, or we are moving away from the One who Is and in the process unraveling in the very essence of who we are; we are “unbecoming” in more ways than one. This is why many of the early Church Fathers taught that hell was vaporish, wispy, almost non-existent; because the souls that end up there are so far down the road from the One who Is that they almost Are Not.
“I’m not perfect” can usually be finished, “…and I have no intention of moving toward perfection”. After all, only God is perfect! Well. Hold on. Not exactly. We see a gorgeous scene and exclaim, “It’s picture perfect”. We enjoy a wonderful evening with friends and reflect, “It was perfect; I wouldn’t have changed a thing”. We even pray, “Almighty God, to you all hearts are open, all desires are known, and from you no secrets are hid. Cleanse the thoughts of our hearts by the inspiration of your Holy Spirit that we may perfectly love you and worthily magnify your holy name.” We’re actually asking God to give us perfect love! High expectations indeed – we probably don’t really mean it when we pray it; we probably don’t even think about the words.
The point being: perfection is achievable. Not, of course, if by perfection we mean “measuring up to God”; but a worthy goal if we mean, “all that we were designed to be”. An English dictionary definition of perfection is “being complete of its kind and without defect or blemish; ‘a perfect circle’; ‘a perfect reproduction’; ‘perfect happiness’; perfect manners’; a perfect specimen’; ‘a perfect day’.” This idea of being complete of its kind and without defect or blemish echoes the yearnings of Saint Paul that the Church, the Bride of Christ, achieve maturity, “without spot or wrinkle”. When he wrote of perfection, St. Paul used the Greek word teleios – “complete”; “fully mature”; “having achieved the purpose of its design”.
All that to say this: when someone tells me (or when I tell someone else), “I’m not perfect…” the statement is one of movement and can mean one of only two things: “I’m not perfect and I’m not heading toward perfection; I have no real intention of changing and becoming complete, fully mature, functioning the way God designed me to function”, or else, “I’m not perfect, but I’m on a path toward perfection, and by the grace of God I will one day achieve such a measure so that I shall be able to look in a mirror and see in myself the reflection of Christ himself.” If the intention is the former, then my pastoral response should most often be something like, “Granted…but are you willing to become perfect, for this is your call and this is your destiny in Christ. Are you willing to have me and others and the Holy Spirit Himself help you down that path toward perfection?” We ought not let the phrase be used as a permission slip to an unbecoming life. “Be ye therefore perfect, even as your father which is in heaven is perfect.” Jesus’ words, not mine. Matthew 5.48.
The comments we make for not being perfect are usually thin excuses for not pursueing perfection. It is easier to pursue the competitve edge of comparison to someone else a little worse than ourself than to aspire to come up to those who are better than we. And most of all, in claiming to be a follower of Jesus, it is much easier to admire him and his life than to aspire to be like him.
So long as I can find someone to look down on, my attention can be distracted from the perfection that excels above me.
It is a matter of perspective… or is it the matter of our paying attention, but in which direction.
Hear the old hymn, To Be Like Jesus, with the phrase ringing in our ears: “all I ask, is to be like Him”.